May 27, 2005

To The 10 And Back (part 2) Why Now ??

I cud have done this anytime earlier in the sem, but I never felt the urge to do it and well, I am someone who doesn't do things unless the urge arises. I know it sounds normal but when I say things I mean almost everything.
This fourth 10 that I scored was the most important for me, and not bcoz its the latest or any such naive thing. Its coz there was a bigger battle at stake. An inner battle. The sem that passed wasn't just yet another academic semester. It was a lot more for me. It was my biggest battle (biggest completed battle, bigger battles are still on :) ).... against many things. I had to fightback, in every sense of the word. The pressure from within was too enormous to bother about extrinsic pressures.
After the end-sems ver done I was like in a daze for almost a day bfore I got my senses back. I was like too exhausted to even be myself (looks like a nice statement na). It drew me out, emptied all my reserves.

There is more to a 10 than meets the eye. Its dark. It takes over you.
The problem is, I ain't like ur average tenner. Studies like hell, never takes his head outta the books, stinks in the lib day in and day out, doesn't talk to normal guys, has no feelings, doesn't play games etc etc (sorry I exaggerated). Heck, I ain't even half of that.
Had I been a sincere student, I cud have identified with a tenner. But no, its beyond that.
And to tell u the truth, I am happy I ain't like that. I do have a life.

Again, why now ??
Bcoz I have just gone thru the details of the battle and I think it wud help to share my thoughts on it. So, that's why now.


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