February 03, 2008

last post explained

Hmm, looks like the audience ain't as smart as I thought they would be :P
Please pardon my self-glorifying statements here.

The idea was when you dream about something, and when it really happens, there is (in many cases) a difference and this difference can be huge. Think about a movie with an awesome star cast. There will be times (in Bollywood, lots) when the movie doesn't meet your expectations.
For people who are into novels, doesn't it usually happen that a movie based on the best-seller you read doesn't seem to be even close. Think about it. The other person who didn't read the book might have enjoyed the movie a lot more than you did.
The reason: when you read a novel, you `imagine' the story in your head. You direct it. You put in the characters. It's your own little film playing in your head. Now how can someone beat your imagination ? Some movies like LOTR pull it off but I hope you get what I am trying to say.

Now the return journey through the woods was a bit confusing I accept.
It was about how we remember or (unconsciously) want to remember the things that happened for real. You can make a memory sweet even though it wasn't as sweet as you remember it. Or if there was an event in which two people were involved, say a vacation you and your best friend took, then he might not remember it in the same spirits as you do.
I hope that makes the last post a little more clear.

February 02, 2008

The hunt is sweeter than the kill. So is the return journey through the woods.

You've been thinking about it right from the day you set foot in the university. You have dreamed about it. Oh yes you have. And what a fancy dream it has been. Cultivated for all those years right from when you set foot in the university up to this very day. You take deep breath and dream again about the same thing you have thought of so many times before. Yet it seems so different every time you conjure up your dream. You'll be sitting there with all your friends. Everyone's eyes bright with the dreams of a future in them. Everyone's spirits high. Parents waiting for the proud moments. There's an air of pride all around. You know it's coming. And you wait. You wait for your name to be called out.
Ah, there it is. Time for you to get on to the stage, amid rounds of applause and looks of awe. You bow to the committee or whatever_it_is_called. The sounds of claps echo through the hall. But you can hardly hear them. All you can hear is your own heartbeat. And boy it sounds so good. You feel like jumping off a cliff and flying away to lands unknown. You walk up to the Director and then you see it. Right in front of you. It's yours for the taking. Your eyes gleam as you see it right there in front of you. Gold. Well, your degree certificate but nonetheless.
And when you walk back to your seat with the_thing in your arms, you spot your parents in the crowd. And you see them. Tears in their eyes and the warmest of smile on their faces. They are together. Proud of what you have become. This was the hunt.

Oh sure you could cry right now but there's no time. You got to go to the ceremony. This is reality. The kill.
It's rather noisy and sweaty. God, of the seasons of the year they had to have the ceremony in this season of heat and sun !! The sun was literally smirking at you. God you wish there were some clouds in the sky today. Ah well.
It's going to be your turn soon. You are excited. Your friends don't seem to be looking at you but that's ok. Bang ! There it is ! Your name's called out. As expected, there are claps. Are they for you or for the person before you who's bowing to the crowds right now. Doesn't matter. And you walk proudly to the stage. And you can't hear the claps too well. Is that because your heart is pounding ? Well, not really. There aren't as many claps as you thought. Ah well, no matter. You bow in front of the committee as planned, you take your degree from the Director as planned. You turn around and exit the stage as planned. Wow, not more than a minute in all and people are already clapping for the next guy. Well, short maybe but that was your moment of glory. You hope the cameraman took your snap at the right moment. And you search for your parents among the crowd. Well, can't really seem to find them. You'll just meet them outside maybe. An hour later, waiting for the ceremony to get over and hoping you could have some cold water you wish the cameraman at least took a snap of you. It doesn't matter anymore when he took it. Just hope he took something that has you in it.
Hehehe, that was the kill. Not quite as you `thought' it would be eh.

This one's fun. The return journey through the woods.
Your grand children are all over you. They can't seem to contain their excitement. They are literally jumping all around you. Boy, what do kids eat nowadays.
"Tell us grandpa, please tell us. How was it. How did you feel. Tell us everything. The whole thing."
"Ok ok, mellow down. I'll tell you."
"It was so long ago, yet, somehow I remember it as though it just happened yesterday. It was a bright summer morning. The sun was smiling down at us and there was not a single cloud in the sky. Such was the morning that day. The hall was buzzing with the sounds of proud students waiting for their moment of glory. When my turn was coming close, I felt so proud of myself. For a moment I couldn't even listen to my friends talking to me. I was so overwhelmed by the feeling. And then, it happened. Amidst a roar of applause, my name was called. I couldn't even stand up straight for a moment. It was just as I had dreamed it would be. I walked up to the stage and I could feel everyone's look upon me. It was my moment. At that point in time, nothing else mattered. I remember the admiring looks the committee gave me as I bowed to them. A little distance away from them was the Director. With my degree in hand and a look of approval on his face, he smiled at me. And I smiled back. I remember it all too clearly. As though time had stood still for that instant. I shook hands with the Director. Thanked him as he congratulated me. I was all smiles. As I walked back, I spotted mom and dad among the crowd. I don't quite remember what happened then, but it must have been just as beautiful."
"Wow grandpa, I can see my graduation day already. I wish it's just as beautiful."
"Oh it will be just as you imagine it to be. Just the same."

"Err dad, I remember grandma telling me that you couldn't spot them when you were coming back. Did you ?"
"Son, it was such a long time back, I might be missing a few details here and there. But yes, this is how I remember it."